I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. Isaiah 41:18
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19
He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into spring of water. Psalm 107:35
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
the Ugly-Beautiful:
All new life comes out of dark places. In the midst of the darkness, God spoke initial life into the world. In the depths of a woman, new life is formed. The fullest life itself is born from the darkness of Calvalry. The darkness of the cross transfigures into new life.
Darkness transfigures into light, bad transfigures into good, grief transfigures into grace, empty transfigures into full. Nothing goes to waste, because we know that God works all things together for good.
The Father wants to transfigure all, no matter how long it takes, He wants to transfigure all.
The French word d’un beau affreux and the German word busch-hasslich. It means the uglybeautiful. That which seems ugly transfigures into beautiful. The dark can give birth to life.
The way a Prince was born into a feed trough surrounded by manure. Where a Holy God lays hands on leper sores, breaks bread with cheats. Is Jesus naueseated by the stench of twelve years of menstrual cloths when he speaks tenderly to the bleeding woman? Is He disgusted with the foul talk, crazed eyes, or bad breath of the demon-possessed man? Where God Himself is wounded on a cross and we wear the symbol as beauty. He Himself became ugly that we might become beauty. The God of the Mount of Transfiguration cannot cease His work of transfiguring moments. He is changing that which is dark and empty into that which is light and full.
And isn’t this what the Gospel is about: redemption? The good news that we have been birthed into new life. That He desires to make a symphony of beauty and He is patiently transfiguring all the notes.
As I reflect on my month in Honduras, I see that this is what the Lord was showing me. In the beginning of Honduras (March), life was hard, and kind of comical. Our first couple of nights in Honduras, it poured throughout the night, and it came to our attention at 2 or 3 in the morning that our roof had holes and all the rain was leaking into our bedroom. So there we were in the middle of the night, awoken by the screams of our squad leader, telling us to get up. We had to search for dry areas to sleep on. We quickly discovered that the place that we slept in, did ministry in, lived in, etc, was an oven. We nicknamed it ‘el orno’ which means oven in Spanish. We would joke around about this with the church members and they always laughed because they knew it was true. It was an oven. And everyday, at middday and afternoon, the place was near unbearable to be in. We would lay on the floor underneath the fans, soaked in sweat. When we first got to Urraco, Honduras, it appeared as though no one spoke English. I mean no one. We had no one to help us translate the Pastor we were working with. Claire and I did the best we could in translating, but it was a huge adjustment. There was no one to make sure we were understanding all of his expectations, or the schedule. In the first few days, we were exhausted from lack of sleep and heat. Drunk men always approached or hollered at us. We only had water every other day (we were not aware of this in the beginning) and even when we did have water, it only came for a few hours in the day. And did I mention it was hot and we were sweating, and we were in desperate need of showers?
The first few days were hard. I personally had just come off this high of Guatemala where I fell in love with our host family. The first few days, my heart hurt and missed the people of Guatemala. On top of that, it seemed as though we may not have been meeting the expectations of the Pastor. Sometimes he seemed frustrated by us. In the beginning it seemed as though it was hard to make friends and build relationships with anyone from the community. As a team, we talked about people-pleasing and how God has called us away from striving to please man, but our only aim to please the Lord. We talked about how we just have to do the best we can, and it may never be enough, but we just need to keep our mindset to work for the Lord. In my heart, I thought “Okay, I just have to work hard this month. It probably won’t be hard to say goodbye or to leave at the end.”
But even in the midst of the difficulties we were facing, the Lord was at work. He was moving. He was showing me His beautiful mercies and joy everyday.
I still remember the first time I went next door with Mollie to the tienda (little store) to buy a lemon. We met the tienda owner, her name is Norma. She said she didn’t have any lemons, so she hollered to her daughter, Normita, and had her go to another tienda to bring us one. Gift Numero Uno. Little did I know, Norma and her family were going to become a huge blessing this month. Norma loved on us. Some days, during the heat of the afternoon, she would send us over cold gatorade, cold water, and ice. Ahhhh, heaven. Some days she brought us cooked rice, and she was always quick to give us free candy or gum. On the last days we were leaving, she and her husband brought us so many coconuts. In Latin America, it can be rude to decline gifts, so I happily accepted all of them with a smile. This one afternoon in particular, my stomach was so full of coconuts I was sure I was going to explode. Not to mention Normita. Man, how I love that girl. We became friends and I loved having her around the church all the time. She is a funny, kind girl. She kept me updated on her school exams, and I wished her good luck each morning.
Then we met Margarita, her husband Jairo, and their two sons. Jairo and his son spoke english (what?! gift sent from heaven!!!). We discovered that they lived close to us, had wifi, and air conditioning. But more importantly, we discovered that they have a servant’s heart, and for some reason they were fond of us from the very beginning. They wanted to give and give and give to us. First, it was wifi. So we came over to their home, and sat in their air conditioned, pepto bismol pink colored hair salon and connected to the wifi. A few days later, Margarita came up to me and asked me when we were coming back to her home. She wanted us to come back today, tomorrow and the next day. We would sit and talk with them. We got to know them and the love between us and their family just grew and grew. They invited us over for a fiesta where we had 4 different pieces of meat and like 5 side dishes. They went all out for us, and somehow, although we were stuffed, we had room for our favorite type of ice cream they bought us. They would call us a lot and ask when we were going to come over again, and would tell us how much they missed us, even though we hadn’t seem them for just a couple of days. They took us in; they became our family.
We met this beautiful church member, Soyla. She was so sweet and precious. She spoke to me like I knew perfect Spanish and invited us over to use her washing machine. (Still the only washing machine I have used so far on this race). She invited us over for lunch and cooked us a delicious meal. She had a tienda that we walked by frequently, and we always hollered to her and waved. She always blew us kisses back and told us we were beautiful girls. She’s like a grandma to everyone and everyone.
David. He’s a little four year old boy with the cutest curly hair and big handsome brown eyes. Somehow, he and I became buds. So Spanish is hard, but I’m pretty sure his mom told me the first day I hung out with him that he is hard of hearing. And then I started to notice it which confirmed what I thought she said in Spanish. Anytime I spoke, he got real close to me and he always was asking me to repeat myself. Sometimes, I think he acted out in frustration from not being able to hear. He seemed to have this built up energy or frustration that needed to be released. But despite all of that, we became buds. Everytime we had church, I just couldn’t wait for my curly haired nug to come and sit with me. So the very last night we were in Urraco, his sweet, sweet mom, Bessie, brought him all the way from his home, just to take a picture and say goodbye to me. It was one of the sweetest gifts and surprises I’ve ever received. How I love that little nugget.
All of a sudden, this whole town was coming alive. All of a sudden, it felt like home. I started to have a routine there. My heart started to become attached and I thought, ‘what is happening?!?! Honduras is stealing my heart.” The Lord gave us so many gifts.
I see that He took the dry land, and turned them into streams of water. He wanted to transfigure my eyes for Urraco.
Sitting outside at night to watch the stars, and the kids play soccer in the road.
So many trips to the tienda just for an excuse to see the cute buy that worked there.
The afternoon the tienda became our living room, safe haven, or sanctuary. We just had to sit in there, eat a bunch of ice cream before giving the rest to the cute tienda buy, because we needed a little break from the orno.
The way my team bonded because we were going literally insane trapped in the orno all the time. The laughs. The dancing. Acting like monkeys. We had nothing else to do but to turn to one another.
Daisy, and her love, and her laughter.
Farewell dinner with Pastor and Pastora.
We had this joke/prayer in the beginning of the month. We were hoping that the hearts of the people we were doing ministry with i.e. Pastor, Pastora, Karina, Fanny, the church, the community, etc that there hearts would become like mashed potatoes. We prayed that we could show them what grace looked like by extending grace to one another and to them. By the end of the month, I definitley think that hearts in that town that were once stiffened towards grace, became hearts full of soft, buttery mashed potatoes.
Friendship with Normita. The last night there, she gave me her school photo to keep so that I’ll always remember her. Her mom, Norma, fighting to hold back tears as we said goodbye. Then, the family woke up at 4am just to wave us goodbye.
Jairo, Margarita, and her kids. We had dinner at her house the last night we were there. Everyone went around and said words of thanks, gratitude, friendship and love. I was crying so hard I couldn’t speak. But when I finally did, that’s when I admitted that I originally didn’t think it would be hard to say goodbye to Urraco, but wow, how the Lord transformed that.
That’s when I became obsesseed with people who live small, normal lives, but live them out so well. I think we all live pretty small lives. None of us are famous, most of our names will be remembered by the masses. Of course we are important to the people in our lives, but for the most part, we are all just living small, ordinary lives. But, I met a tienda owner who lives her life out so well. We were just a bunch of gringas in a new town. Yet, she chose to reach out and love us. Everyday, she gets up and sits at the storefront of her tienda, and she lives her life so well. She lives it by being willing to love whoever God places in front of her, or next door to her. It was evident to me in the month that we were there. Or Margarita and Jairo. On our last night there, they said how they loved taking care of us in the small, little ways they could. And I thought to myself that they weren’t small things. They were huge to me. They took me in. They loved me. They treated me like their daughter. Again. People who just live the life they were given really well by loving and serving hard. My heart forever feels knit to these people. To this town.
Urraco, Honduras was one of my hardest months. It was physically and spiritually challenging. There were hard things coming up in my life and in ministry. I thought I just needed to get by and get the heck out of there. But the Lord makes everything beautiful in His timing! He transfigured all these moments that could seem bad, into something full of beauty, life and love. He created a beautiful masterpiece, a perfect symphony of beauty. Honduras has been my favorite month so far, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it will always be. I am praying, praying, praying that I get to go back there one day.
Thanks for reading this long one! Con mucho amor homies,
Meg
