Coming home from the World Race was an enticing and exciting time. It was time for pumpkin pie and too much stuffing and the Christmas cheer loomed in the air. It was fast, it was calm, it was busy, it was a lot of netflix, and surprisingly, it was stressful.
When I stepped my little feet in beat up shoes on to (North) American soil, and was taken aback by all the English I was hearing, I didn’t realize all that I was stepping into. I forgot I was stepping into the American Dream and how society and even friends and family have viewed this year away as simply a ‘gap year’-the thing that I do before I start my ‘real’ job. The next expectation for my life was apply for a nice, cozy job with benefits and paid time off. But even when I was back in high school and college, I never saw myself in a corporate-america job. When I changed my major to Social Work, I never thought I would actually do Social Work. I simply knew that I highly desired a college degree and thought Social Work is the one that could help me in the future in ministry.
Well that was all forgotten about when I came back home from my trip and felt this huge, ever-enclosing pressure that came mostly from my own head and a desire to make other people happy about my life choices. I started searching for jobs online, completely overwhelmed with how many different things one can actually do with a Social Work degree. I hate saying it, but the idea that I had everything at my finger tips, was overwhelming and stressful. I have a broad college degree and I can truly choose to do almost anything, so how do I know what is the right thing? And I get that I’m young; I’m 23 years old. What I choose to do now, will most likely not be exactly what I’m doing in 10 years. However, it is a true reality that whatever I choose to do now, whatever is my next step, will affect the trajectory of my life.
So it’s a very long story made short, but here I am in Gainesville, Georgia doing an apprenticeship program with the mission organization, Adventures in Missions, that sent me on my trip. I will be working part-time in the office, and taking classes specific for Leadership. The long story includes reuniting with my squad mates in the middle of January and taking a road trip with my bestie through some beautiful southern cities, a sweet grandmother turned into my wingwoman, getting to reconnect with a squadmate and soulfriend in her hometown, and the Lord giving me a deep peace that this is the next step for me. The long story also includes missing my flight back to Buffalo because of “snow” and having to be back in Georgia four days later to begin the program.
That’s why I’m beginning to trust the journey. Sometimes, everything seems really hard and difficult and as though a period of bliss may never come through for us. But I think it’s right there in that sweet spot, where if we push through, where we just trust a little bit longer, something good will pop through. Like the first flower budding from the cold, hard ground in springtime after a long, chilly winter. At first it takes you by surprise, but then it makes you feel like it was supposed to be there all-along.
